How Not to Be an Opera Singer


Hmm… I wonder where the singer is? Is he running late? *Loud opera singing from outside of the room* There he is… Oh sorry, I was… My uber was late so um… Uh… But Your Highness is finally here. So we can get started, shall we? Hahahaha! Can I have an A, please? I have very good pitch. That doesn’t sound like an A. Play me an A! Tsk! Oh no, you actually have to play an A♯. The key is F♯ major, so there’s no naturals. A♯. So for my recital, it will be absolutely fantabulous if we could sing… the aria from the Kachikawawa production of the- Einstein Western-Australian musical. But… the last movement is very charming. It’s in uh- this… I believe, in Latin hieroglyphic, but just the last movement of that would be very good. The Tonanini Kachikawawa productions. I’m sure you can get ahold of the music. I haven’t really warmed up today, so… Let’s take it easy, shall we? Cool. BrrRbrrbRRr… So I just picked up the piano part from the library today, but… You should be able to read it fine, right? Let’s go. From the top! I… I, I didn’t know this piece. Oh, come on, it’s- It’s standard repertoire. You’ll be alright! Ah! D♯, D♯. There’s an accent! There are two- Don’t, don’t, don’t miss the… Key signature. I know music is hard for those that aren’t gifted. You know, piano, you guys have it sooo easy. You guys just have the notes like, right there in front of you. We actually have to… find our notes from thin air and pluck it. Look, look, just… I mean look how easy they are. Chopin! It’s such an easy instrument to play. Ah… Don’t worry, I’m breathing with the phrasing in the case. So I’m easy to follow. Okay. That was… not even 2 bars. The phrase goes to 2 bars. I’m human, you have a piano. If I need to take a breath in my lungs, I need to take a breath, okay? I’m not… playing on an instrument without breaths, so you have to follow me. Okay, so I know the concert pitch is in… C minor, but… I’m actually singing it in… B minor. So you’ll be able to sight read it a semitone lower, right? – Do you have-
– So like a chromatic fourth. Do you have the music for it? No, of course not! Who do you think I am? A publisher? *coughs*

100 comments

Lol not all of us are snobs I've met so many nice professional opera singers in my life. In fact if they weren't so nice i dont think I'd be so invested in it as i am now. However eddy did nail it with opera singers wearing scarfs. 😂😂😂

I'm an opera student/pianist. This is very funny!
Too much vibrato/wobbling is a real issue today in opera.
And if you think that's fortissimo, well… look up real, controlled fortissimo.
Was the "Chopin" Fantasie-Impromptu?
OMG
"Ave Maria" Schubert
"O Mio Babbino Caro"

When Eddy was singing Ave Maria by Shubert (2:16) I was going crazy because just before I started procrastinating I was sight reading Ave Maria.

See, Chopin……. plays moonlight sonata, third movement
Me: ….. that’s the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

Lol. Brett sure was tortured. Eddy fits the singer to a T. They should do more of these stuff again. 😁

I can relate to the germaphobe xDDD
My teacher always wears scarves, keeps herself warm and drinks tee with extra honey so that she doesn't catch a cold xD
Throat care is a thing between opera singers xD Even I started to avoid sick people ^^;;;

oof, the germaphobe thing is real
but honestly it's kinda well earned, my brother had to miss Mahler 8 because of a cold after doing a month of rehearsals… and now I'm desperately trying to prep for La Boheme with a cough. It's frustrating when your instrument is prone to utter destruction from a single sniffle.

"I'm on vocal rest"

"What?"

"I said I'm on vocal re- GOD DAMMIT EMMA NOW I NEED TO GO MAKE A TEA WITH HONEY!"

"I know music is hard for those that aren't gifted" … more like… MUSICAL GENIUSES ARE BORN NOT CREATED 😂😂😂😂

But why are you wearing an actual talit. And cantilating the whole time. You would fit in so perfectly at an ashkenazi yom kippur 🤣

Not an opera singer, just a… singer. I'm the germaphobe, but I still manage to get sick before almost every performance. T_T I wear those surgeon masks and everyone thinks I have the plague or something lmfao

Mmmm… they forgot my type.
THE ASPIRING OPERA SINGER SOPRANO: Look, my dudes, I can hit a G6 in full voice. IT'S EASY I JUST HAD TOO MUCH DAIrY TOdAY. I did it yeSteRdaY

3:38 😥😫😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬

"Oh my goodness, is that someone coughing, uggh, the germs, I have a recital tomorrow, stay away from me ugh." Flicks hair and scarf and storms off.

3:06 "I know music is hard for those that aren't gifted…." 😒😰😟😕😌😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was trained privately for almost 4 years and … you basically described my instructor and one of the reasons I now sing Jazz lol. (I'm not a professional, my parents had high hopes for their daughter who ended up majoring in Fine art.) So needless to say I'm now a carpenter.

3'21 : I sing and I play piano, and I find singing really easier bc it comes from you 😂😂 But, Eddy, I'm sure that if you trained that voice a little bit, you could be really great 😂 For real, you have a nice voice and you can sing quite high so yeah 😉

I actually am going to opera singing. Sad actually, because i really appreciate pianists that are playing with me. Just for people don't get bad impression about opera singers…

4:45: OMG my late husband really COULD sight-transpose things by a half or whole step! He'd prank me by starting the intro to some violin solo a half pitch higher and when I came in, it sounded awful, and he absolutely HOWLED with laughter. Bless 'im! Favorite memory.

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