[Intense music] That’s right! NOT Safe For Work. Play nice! [Automatic gunfire] Deadpool: Aw, shit! [Gunfire, intense music] Deadpool: Catch! Deadpool: Missed me! [Music intensifies] Deadpool: Ding dong! [Guard screams in pain] Deadpool: You get a bullet! And you get a bullet! Everybody gets a bullet! [Guards yelling, running] Deadpool: Shit! [Swords swinging, grunting] Deadpool: Mother… fucker! Give… me… [Sword metal impacts] [Gunshot] [Guard grunts] Supercalifragilistic-DECAP! [Goal buzzer, air horns] Woo hoo hoo hoo! Holy fucking… STINKPICKLE! Did anybody see that?! Totally worth the setup time. [Doors burst open, guards yelling] Guard: Get on the ground! Deadpool: 3, 5… 8.. 9… Well, okay. Didn’t any of you ass-snackers see the first Deapool-Musical-Link-In-The Description-Below? I mean, seriously! I merc’d like, twenty of you stunt guys. …Nobody? [Guard coughs] Well, okay. [Claps hands] Deadpool Musical 2. …Let’s Lin-Manuel this Miranda. [Music starts] [Bomb explodes, guards scream] [Guards screams, gun shots] Deadpool: Hey! Ow! Ow! [Gun clicks] Deadpool: Five Nights At FUCK YOU, buddy! [Guard whimpers] [Weakly singing] ♪ Let it go… ♪ ♪ Let it go…? ♪ [Gunshot, splatter] …MY musical. [Music starts] Thank you, uh thank you very much. [Music ends, heavy breathing] Deadpool: Ok, I was expecting a little more applause then just that.
Who in the cameo are you supposed to be? I’m Jubilee! I’m an X-Man, you moron. Are you gonna take this power dampening collar off, or- Deadpool: No, no no, mean girl. I mean, which one are you? After all, you’re played by a different Asian actress in every X-Men movie. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Fuckknuckles! You did it again! [Fireworks explode] Don’t think saving me is going to win you any points with the X-Men. You’re not a super hero. You’re an actual murderer. [Music starts] Maybe she’s right… Maybe there is something wrong with me. Oh, seriously? Jubilee: Oh, god. Jubilee: Ugh. Jubilee: I’m gonna be sick. Blind Al: Yeah, jerkin’ off. …oh, SHIT! [Gunfire, film crew screams] [Music ends]
Deadpool: “A-Team”. 80’s Reference. The kids love that. You are such an asshole. I love it when a medley comes together. SMASH CUT! [Music begins]
[Blackbird jet engines] [Fighting, yelling] ROGUE! So, how about a little skin-on-skin contact? Rogue: UGH! Ya’ll thought this was a bright idea? Beast: He doesn’t even have an X-Men uniform. BEAST! So meta. So, Belle still giving you blue… everything? Cyclops: Look alive, X-Men!
[Laser explosion] Logan, if you wanted someone to impale you- Wolverine: GET OUT OF MY WAY! Beast: Good DAY!
Rogue: Get lost! Wolverine: Fuck you!
Cyclops: Go home!
Jubilee: Good bye! [Music ends, jet engine fly by] [Knife hits board] Deadpool: Mother… fucker. Well, I didn’t want to join their STUPID franchise anyway. They can’t even keep their timelines straight. Blind Al: What about the Justice League? Eat farts, Wakanda Sykes. [“Pulp Fiction” Ringtone Plays] DP Dildo Delivery. Any time, any place, any hole. … An “infant war”? You know, I’m always up for a good baby fight. [Music starts, repulsor engines] Iron Man: Um, stop trying to steer me, Wade. Iron Man: Dickjoke. Groundbreaking. Iron Man: Avengers, I need backup. Iron Man: Not what I meant, Natasha. [Music ends] Nick Fury: What part of no singing on this motherfuckin’ channel DON’T you people get? Captain America: Language. TONY. Drop that bitch. Iron Man: Uh, yeah… Give it a couple years, kid. Deadpool: Oh… shiiiiiiiiiiit! Deadpool: What does it take for an anus dried apricot to catch a break around here? Aw, what? These aren’t the ones with marshmallows? Al! Where’s the milk?! Blind Al: …idiot. Deadpoo: This isn’t… [Angelic chorus]
Deadpool: Oh…. …Canada. [“O, Canada” Anthem Plays] [Fighting, yelling] [Grunt] Deadpool: Oh my god, woah… Shitty wookie and alopecia ewok! I am home! Let me guess. …Star Wars parody? Alpha Flight, dumbass. That’s Sasquatch, I’m Puck, eh!? [Sasquatch Roar] Canadian super heroes, sorry. What, they couldn’t afford Peter Dinklage? You tell me… …K-Mart Ryan Reynolds. [Sasquatch laughs]
Deadpool: Ooooo… Baby’s got spice. So, what’s your song, tiny dancer? [Sasquatch growls]
[Doors burst open, ninjas yelling] [Ninjas yelling]
[Music starts] [Sasquatch roar] [Door bursts open]
Deadpool: What the shit? Deadpool: With benefits!? SPIDEYPOOL!! [Music stops, akward cough] [Music starts, yelling] [Fireworks exploding] Where is Deadpool? [Whistle] [Lush, pretty music] Deadpool: Oh, yeah! Deadpool, Team Princess: CONFIRMED. Roll credits, motherfuckers!
[Princesses laughing] [Music swells]
[Magical sparkles] [Instrumental music begins] [Wow! You watched the whole thing!] [Who says people on the internet
don’t have attention spans?] [As your reward, how about a…
MID-CREDITS BONUS SCENE!?] [That’s right. Just for you. It’ll be our little secret…] [Spoiler Alert – Infinity War spoilers.] [But come on, it’s been out for, like… months.] [If you cared, you would have seen it, right?] [Snorting] Woo! Augh! To infinity and beyond! Ah. Avengers: Disassemble. [Snooooort] [Now, the real challenge…] […watching the entire credit scroll!
(You can do it!)] [All of these crazy maniacs made
this fan film FOR YOU!] [Fellow fans: Let us know your favorite part/easter egg in the comments!] [OK, I’m gonna go get a drink…] […stay put, be right back.] [And we’re back! Boy, this is a tasty beverage…] [Last video, I gave you my secret chimichanga recipe.] [This time, a special cocktail recipe for the adults…] [INGREDIENTS YOU’LL NEED] [1 bottle of Aviation Gin.] [Maybe, 2 bottles… 2 bottles of Aviation Gin.] [1 bucket, 1 large bag of ice.] [Pour contents into bucket,
stir vigorously with freshly washed hands. Sip & enjoy!] […Look, the recipes can’t all be winners, ALRIGHT.] [#NotSponsored] [#UnlessYouWantUsToBe